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 Dr. Deborah Carlton Loftis
A Musician's Call
I have often described my ministry in terms of an "evolving" sense of call. It seems that God has used the voices of people close to me to shape and even redirect my call to ministry. I was fourteen when I answered God's call to devote my life to Christian ministry. Loving adults who worked with my youth group told us that God had a plan for each of us. I listened. When I responded to God's call, they affirmed me and my plan to follow college with seminary. At that point, I expected it would have something to do with children. I had been helping with children's groups and enjoyed that very much.
One day near the end of my college years, I was chiding my best friend about wasting her God-given talent for playing the organ by not practicing. This typically quiet friend turned with eyes blazing and asked indignantly, "Well, you're a pretty good singer. What are you doing with that talent?" Abashed, I promised to check into taking voice lessons when I arrived at Southern Seminary in Louisville later that year. Living up to my promise, I made an appointment to see the Dean of the School of Church Music. I was so very nervous. On the way over I prayed fervently for God to reveal the right course to me. (Has anyone ever told you to be careful what you pray for?) Somehow, by the time I finished meeting with the Dean, I had been transferred to the School of Church Music! Did I mention that my college degree was in history? Even though I was a little flummoxed by the process and uncertain about the future, I knew right away that I had come "home." My ministry would be centered in music. What had I been doing with those children during my high school days? Music, of course. I just hadn't put it together. With tremendous enthusiasm and a burst of energy, I crammed a two-year Master of Church Music program into FOUR years, full-time. Well . . . I did have a bit of catching up to do. Throughout my degree work, my professors challenged and encouraged me, giving me new insights into the myriad facets of music ministry and helped me hone my gifts to answer God's call.
Along the way, I served an inner-city congregation as Minister of Music. This small but feisty group of believers pushed me into new tasks and new understandings of my call. They ordained me—a process they initiated when they thought I was ready. Our Associate Pastor resigned and as we began the search for a replacement, the others of us on the staff picked up extra work to keep things moving at church. One dear lady started walking right up to me week after week and declaring, "I think you should be our Associate Pastor!" I explained to her that I was already on the staff, but this did not deter her. Finally, others began to say it as well, so I reluctantly agreed to take on the second job. I had some misgivings about my abilities—my degree was in music, not divinity—but these folk had proved trustworthy in the past so I trusted them again. This church helped me to see and embrace the pastoral role of the church musician.
There have been obstacles and roadblocks over the years. Being an ordained woman in Baptist life is no easier in the field of music than in education or the pastorate. I have not always had a ministry job. There have always been, however, opportunities to serve and to live out my call.
Now, after twenty plus years of serving churches in music ministry, I'm back in seminary. This time, however, on the other side of the lectern. God's call to this ministry came through the voices of colleagues who challenged and encouraged me to take up the work of teaching. Now my task is to help others explore and flesh out their call as they prepare for music ministry. It's a wonderful adventure, often outside my comfort zone, but always rewarding.
It's been forty years since I first felt God's call to ministry. The call was clear when I was a teenager; the shape of the call was not. At critical points, the people of God pushed and pulled, challenged and affirmed me as I tried to understand and live out the call. It has taken time. There have been some surprises, and much joy; and--I have a pretty good idea that this dance is not over yet.
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